The Uncomfortable Mirror: Why We Need to Stop Reading Dogs and Start Reading Ourselves
By Anna Marie Stewart, DTTA-CPDT
Finding Success Through Self-Awareness, Vulnerability, and Your Own Professional Style
As professional dog trainers, we dedicate years, even decades, to mastering the craft of reading dogs. We are fluent in the language of reinforcement schedules, subtle body language, stress responses, genetics, learning theory, and complex behavioral patterns. We analyze the dog in front of us with extraordinary detail. Yet, if we’re honest with ourselves, how much time have we truly dedicated to understanding the person who matters even more: ourselves?
The deeper I get into this profession, the more obvious it becomes that lasting success in training hinges far more on the human (the trainer and the client) than it does on the dog. This success is directly tied to providing and teaching clear leadership that forms the foundation of a trusting relationship. More importantly, our unique personalities are the underlying forces shaping every interaction: how we communicate, how we teach, how we manage conflict, and even our level of drive and motivation.
Discovering Your Professional Style
For me, one key to learning this self-awareness was using a personality profile system, specifically the DISC profile (Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness). Another similar system is the Myers-Briggs. While most of us are a natural blend of all parts, 2 are usually more predominant. Understanding these traits highlights our professional strengths and, crucially, our weaker points.
The traits break down as follows:
- Dominant (D) trainers might be decisive leaders but may struggle with patience when progress slows down.
- Influential (I) trainers excel at client connection and enthusiasm, but risk inconsistency or burying the core message in “word salad”.
- Steady (S) trainers naturally foster calm, supportive spaces but often find themselves avoiding necessary, difficult conversations with clients.
- Conscientious (C) trainers thrive on structure, detail, and analysis, yet can trip into perfectionism or become overly analytical, paralyzing action.
Did any of these resonate with you? This framework helps you move past generic advice to pinpoint the precise areas where your inherent personality style gives you an advantage, and
where it may introduce blind spots. By identifying your style, you gain the power to manage how you communicate, structure your training, and interact with your clients and their dogs.
The Strength in Your “Weakness”
Let’s get real here for a moment: Before understanding this, I often carried the quiet belief that there was something ‘wrong’ with me. I was always the quiet person who sat back, observed, avoided conflict, and let others take the lead. In a world that often rewards outward confidence and loudness, this quiet approach was often mistaken for uninformed or lacking ambition. My perspective shifted through mentorship and personal growth with the realization that my C/S personality type is what helps me be successful. While others focused on talking, I was studying, listening, absorbing subtle information, and connecting the dots. The traits I once saw as personal failings became my greatest assets as a trainer. This careful observation allows me to catch micro-shifts (for both dog and client) in body language, stress signals, and apply the knowledge I have stored up over the years.
I know I’m not the only one who may have felt this. This profession seems to be a magnet for deep thinkers and people fascinated by the mechanics of learning and behavior. And for many individuals who are neurodivergent, this field allows their superpowers to shine. We “geek out” on neuroscience, on stress, and on ethical communication because we are driven by curiosity and a desire to truly
honour the dog. The capacity for hyperfocus, systems thinking, pattern recognition, and diving deep into the why of behavior isn’t just an advantage, it’s what makes the difference between memorizing a technique and building a truly individualized, fair solution for the dog (and client) in front of us. But let me be clear: my S/C combination is not the only successful personality type for a trainer. True success in this profession is about knowing who you are, no matter your personality type, and leveraging those inherent traits to your advantage.
Understanding your weaker points is not a flaw; it’s a profound strength.
The Art of Teaching Humans: Adapting to the Client
Self-awareness gives us insight, but the work doesn’t end there. Once we recognize our own style of communication, we gain the ability to recognize, and adapt to, how our clients learn best. How often have we, as trainers, made the mistake of relying solely on verbal instruction? Effective teaching is never a one-size-fits-all model. We know this with dogs, but sometimes forget it with our clients.
- Some clients are kinesthetic learners and need to physically practice the skill until the muscle memory clicks.
- Others are auditory learners, thriving on verbal explanations and deep discussion. ● Still others are visual learners, needing clear demonstrations, diagrams, or written homework to absorb the information.
In practice, this adaptation might mean providing a C-style (Conscientious) client with a highly structured, step-by-step written checklist to satisfy their need for precision, or using a relatable sports analogy for an I-style (Influential) client to help the concept click through narrative. For a kinesthetic learner, it involves stepping back and allowing for immediate, hands-on practice or
role play, ensuring they feel the physical mechanics of the leash pressure or reward timing before moving on to the next concept.
When we combine an understanding of their personality (how they process the emotional side of training) with their learning style (how they process the instructional side), our communication shifts from being merely adequate to being highly effective. We are already masters at creating individualized training plans for the dog; now we must bring that same adaptability to the client.
When we can do that, we are at the heart and soul of great training. It’s not about rote obedience or cookie cutter approaches. It’s about emotional awareness, keen observation, and sincere connection. Connection not just with the client, but with the goal of fostering the ultimate, strong relationship between the client and their dog. When we realize that our dogs are often just reflecting the nervous systems standing beside them, the responsibility, and the opportunity, becomes clear. To be the best trainers for them, we must first become the most honest observers of ourselves. The beautiful irony of this work is that those perceived personal flaws we tried to hide are often the very traits that allow us to connect so deeply with our clients and their dogs, and ultimately, facilitate the lasting bond they share with their dog. Putting it all together for the greatest success and outcomes.
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” — Maya Angelou
Author Bio:
Anna Marie Stewart, DTTA-CPDT, is the founder of Instinct Canine Training in Burlington, Ontario. Her professional journey includes experience in veterinary medicine, pet insurance, and the service dog industry. Anna brings this wealth of knowledge to every client, helping them foster the clear communication and mutual trust necessary for a lifelong companionship.
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